Sex, Love, And Psych
Sex, Love, And Psych

Episode · 10 months ago

Episode 28: Burnout


An exploration of what burnout is, some contributing factors, possible outcomes and how to prevent burnout. Added is a discussion on how to recognize burnout in others and the best course of action to assist them.

Hello and welcome to episode twenty eight of sex, love and psyche. Thank you so much for tuning in this week bearing with me while I delayed an extra day yet again. I do just have a lot going on. I'm training for a couple new things, so it's all just very chaotic right now, but things are on their way to getting slightly less chaotic, so we will see. We're working on it. Thank you so much for bearing with me. With all of that being said, I figured that burnout would be an appropriate topic choice for this week. I've been experiencing it a little bit of it myself lately, so if I'm a little spacey or a little all over the place or not getting back to someone as quickly as possible, maybe please restard to bear with me. I am just working through a lot of different new things right now, so it's all very up in the air. With that being said, let's jump into what burnout is, what it can look like, all that fun stuff. So I did a quick google to see what they would have to define burnout, as I have a general idea of what it is. I know what I understand it to be, but the first definition that popped up when I google. BURNOUT is a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. This is kind of vague, but I did want to break it down a little bit. So let's go to physical burnout first. This can be like the working your body past its limits, working out too much, too hard, too long, going beyond what you're supposed to. If you have an injury, you're just pushing that too far, putting that physical strain on your body.

That can lead to injury. If you don't look after you, it can lead to muscle fatigue and all of that stuff not great. So what is the general response to physical burnout and all of that? What are we told to do when we experience physical strain or injury resulting from like this physical burn burnout? We're told to go to a doctor, chiropractor, massage therapist, physio, go to some sort of professional to guide us. We're told to rest, is a big one. Rest that muscle, rest your body, allow it to recoup itself. We're told. We are taught how to prevent reaching that point again with proper muscle training, stretching, knowing how to listen to our bodies when guided by a doctor, physio etc. Who knows what they're talking about. So let's go over to the emotional and mental burnout. This could result from having too much on your plate. You're over committing to obligations and plans, you're over socializing. If you're an introvert, you're maybe not going out as much. If you're an extrovert, your job is just getting overwhelming, you're not as satisfied with what's going on in your job, relationship, etc. This can all lead to that mental or emotional burnout. Mental or emotional burnout similar to leading to muscle strain and like physical exhaustion and injury, it can lead to depression, lack of motivation, a shorter temper, emotional strain, feeling like dull, not as mentally on the ball. So you're not able to achieve as much to the standard that you normally would...

...when it comes to your job or academically or any of that, depending on whatever your situation is. Your brains kind of foggy, you're not motivated all of that fun stuff. So how are we told to deal with emotional or mental burnout? We're told to STAR SUCK IT UP, stop being so dramatic. Don't cry over spilled milk. If we have what's seen US an over dramatic response to something small going wrong. Go harder, go home. We're met with this culture of Hustle and the grand not stopping. You just got to push through it, you just gotta go hard. It'll pay off eventually. Just keep going, don't be lazy or on the flip side, we people see how much we are doing. They see they might not see the strain as much, but they see how much we're doing and we are reinforced and courage to keep doing everything that we're doing and we're kind of put up on this pedestal of being a hard work or independent never stopped. Like that hustle culture. Again, we're kind of like that's kind of idolized in our society and with the Olympics and like professional sports being kind of not like an extreme version, but in the regular everyday person we are not told to overstrain when it comes to physical burnout, other than in those extreme sport like contexts. The average person is told to rest, relax, train, etcetera. All that and even in the Olympics we see that with someone biles. She got the twisty she wasn't able to perform. So she took that time off,...

...mental and physical, to allow her body to recoup, allow her mind to return to being it's alert, regular self. And it has been met with such mixed reviews, and that's another reason why I wanted to do burnout today. So why is the reaction so different between mental and emotional and physical burnout? Both can have crippling and dangerous outcomes, but only one is taken so seriously. This, in my experience, has come it's made some progress in the last decade or two, but physical pain, physical trauma, injury, all of that is still taking so much more seriously than the trauma pain burnout that isn't as visible or as a parent, when just looking at someone. We can experience burnout in every area of our lives. It can be work, which is a super common one. There's tons of papers on professional burn out and dissatisfaction with jobs. It can happen in relationships, are general social lives. It can happen in any point in any of our lives and when it does it can bleed into those other areas. We want to be really, really knowledgeable and aware of what it's happening in a fast paced world of Fomo like fear of missing out and this wholsal culture. How can we protect ourselves and, as well as many of us being in financially precarious positions, how do we protect ourselves from this mental and emotional burn out? First I want to say one thing that has helped me a lot with my mental health and confidence in all of that is sometimes, just with my own personality, I will put more work into something if I think it's for someone else...

...over myself. So in this context, if if we're burnt out mentally and emotionally, we can get snippy with our friends, with our partners, with our family weekend, start lacking in our performance in our jobs and academics and we can start failing the people around us. So if you weren't ready to take care of your burnout and prevent your burnout for yourself, think of how it could affect all of those people. And this isn't too guilt trip you into feeling bad about experiencing burnout. That's a whole different other thing. But if that's going to motivate you to be more aware of the dangers of burnout and be more conscious of putting yourself through it. Do It for other people. At first you'll get to the point where you are then just preventing it, because that's the best way to keep yourself healthy. So how how can we stop this from bleeding into every spot of our lives? First of all, one big thing for me with my schooling, in my work and everything is I have learned to prioritize. I have had to make lists, even just for classes, of most important assignments do on a specific date to least important things. Like some classes will have exams, assignments and like little quizzes or discussion posts, and I will put them in that order and if they're if I have five or six things do from different classes, I might drop a quiz, I might drop a discussion post, I'll take a zero on that two percent of my grade to focus more on the thirty percent assignment. And that can kind of be expanded to other areas of our life too. So we're going to make that list of super important things in our life to...

...least important things and if we have to, we're going to try and drop a couple of those least important things or try to help delegate it to someone else who might not have as much on their plate. Another thing is that's super important is make sure to make some time to just do nothing, even if you have to put it in your calendar or your day planner or whatever you use. Schedule some nothing time. I've done it. I do it a lot. I will schedule a whole nothing day. I'll do extra work on the other days if I have to, but I will take a nothing day where I can just sit my bed, Squirrell ticktock, eat when I want to, bench Netflix, just anything that doesn't make my feet, my brain feel like it's working and just allows me that recharge time. So it might look different to you, you might do see me yoga or self care, have a bath. Just schedule some nothing time, even if it's an hour or two and that's all you can fit. Schedule it in. If you have access to a therapist, I would highly recommend scheduling that in. They they are there to help you work through all of your emotions. You can just let it all out, where with other people in your life you might feel like you have to stay a little bit guarded not let them worry all of that, but with your therapist that is what they're there for. If you don't have a therapist, you can always lean in on that support system and make sure you're doing something you enjoy with people that you love. For me, I have a crazy busy month with exams and training for two new jobs working my other job, but one thing that I take time to do is go to concerts, go to live music with my friends, just unleash myself there for a little bit where I don't have to worry about school...

...and work and all of my other responsibilities. I can just go listen to music, throw on a cute ass outfit, vibe, talk to people without feeling all of this pressure. So that's when I'm doing this weekend and again that might look something different to you. Go to a movie, Go for dinner, have a girl's night, whatever it is. On the flip side of this, I did want to talk about what someone can do, what you can you to support someone in your life who may be going through some burnout or you might just realize that they are being snippy, they're irritable, they're tired all the time. There maybe not as talkative as usual. They kind of seem like they're a chicken running with their head caught off at some moments and then just fall off the face of the earth in the other moment. If you know that they have a lot on their plate, try to not take any of those emotional responses super personally. burnout's not an excuse to treat people like Shit. So if I'm burnt out, I still do my best to not treat the people around me, especially my loved ones, like garbage, but I do get a little more irritable, less talkative, not as like positive analpoty as usual. So I really hope my friends and family don't take it too personally when I'm like that. I'm sure they don't. I do my best to make sure that they know it's not their fault or anything. But if someone that you love is going through all of this and you kind of see them at the end of their rope, if if you know something on their plate that is in your ability to even share some responsibility with or anything like that, anything that is on their plate that you could... with, you can always offer. They might still say no. They might have scheduled all this and prioritized all lists and have it perfectly done, so they think they can achieve it all that's fine. Don't try to insist on taking anything off their plate. If they say they're fine, just let them do it Um. But one thing is if you know their love language, even if they're friends, I have a list of some of my friends love languages and my phone and when I see that they're having a tough time, if I have some financial wiggle room or if I have some extra time, I'll go into that list and double track on their love language and I'll try to come up with even something really small that fits into their love language and how they best feel loved, and I'll try to offer that to them. If it's quality time and I have extra time, I have an evening off or something, let's go for a bike ride, let's have a movie night in, let's go for drinks, let's go for food. If it's acts of service, Hey, like I made a meal for you, so it's one less thing you have to worry about. Hey, I I can run grab groceries for you if you just give me a list, even if they're paying for it, just taking that off of their list is going to be something super, super nice and et Cetera. Like you can go back to my episode on Love Languages for more examples of how you can show that to them and if they're any time to just let them know that they're supported. That's going to be the biggest thing. I am able to work through so much of my burnout and take my nothing days and drop off the face of the Earth sometimes because I know that the people in my life are going to support me no matter what. They have my back. They aren't taking... personally. They care about me, they want me to take care of myself and that absolutely allows me way more wiggle room to allow myself to do these things. And early on I did like kind of guilt myself into taking this time off in so I could be a better friend or employee or student. Now I just know that I have to schedule it because that's how I take care of myself. So I would highly encourage you all to do that again if you are in a relationship or in a friendship with someone who is experiencing a lot of this burn out. Again, the biggest thing is make them feel support and try not to take it personally. They might be a little bit snippy or whatever it is, but more often than not, if it's not something that they would normally get mad at or if they're overreacting to stuff, it probably has a lot more to do with them and what's going on in their life then you. So just take your time if you need it, because no one needs to go through that constantly either. You are not there to be their punching digg so take that time that you need, but try to just make them feel supported, help them mountain noise that you can. And for all of you guys experiencing Burnou, I know I have a few friends who are just having a really tough August so far. I'm here for you. I'm a little chaotic right now, but I'm here for you. I know you're here for me. Let's just push through August together. We got this. And for everyone else, thank you so much for listening. I hope this maybe offered some new perspective or ideas for you or allowed you some space to maybe have a conversation with someone in your life who... think might be experiencing this just tank so much for tuning in again. I'm a little burnt out, so my brains a little folly, but thank you so much. I will talk to you next week. By.

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