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Sex, Love, And Psych
Sex, Love, And Psych

Episode · 11 months ago

Episode 23: Why Pride?

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

I asked other members of the LGBTQIA+ communities what Pride Month means to them and why it's so important. This is what they had to say. (I will not be posting an episode on January 5, but encourage everyone to find podcasts done by Indigenous creators.)

Hello and welcome back to this episode of Sex, love and psych I hope you all are staying cool. I am not. My apartment is a sauna, but I'm doing the best I can here. If you hear a weird sound in the background, that is my ceiling fan. I will not be turning it off to record this episode, so please just try to ignore it. I am dying. I did order some cooling stuff off Amazon. That should be here tomorrow, though, so cross your fingers for me. This week I wanted to dive into why pride is important to different people, why why we celebrate it, what it means to different people. So I bought out some pretty broad questions on my socials after a couple of my Lgbtq I a plus friends, and I got some really awesome feedback, so I'm just going to jump right into them. Story Number One. They said that this year's pride month, it's even more meaningful, and I will just read their message word forward, because I can't word it better than they would. Pride month this year has been particular, particularly meaningful for us because two of their three children are out. Their son, who is gender fluid and gay, isn't a huge fan of what he calls the pomp and circumstance of pride celebrations, and it actually makes this person happy in a way to hear him say that, because it means that he is able to be blas a about the whole thing because it's so common place for him. They did encourage him to do some reading to really understand why pride is so colorful and large and in your face, to really appreciate what we in the Queer community have to navigate, to give him the opportunity to not give a shit word for word guys. Lastly, their daughter, who is eight, came out as a lesbian...

...this year. For her, it means that she just doesn't like boys. Like that, this person does admit that, even though they are a queer person as well, at first this thought of your eight, how can you know what you like kind of entered their mind and they realize that even they had internalized biases about sexuality and identity, even though they too realized at a young age that they weren't attracted to boys. But for them they thought there was something wrong with them, whereas for the daughter, queerness and gender coelness is such a normal part of every day that she can quite confidently declare that that and mean every word. She and her and little sister, who is five, are learning about and celebrating pride month at their school and she's demanded a pride flag for her room, going so far as to make a little paper one to stick on their front door. They're so proud that she could be here and Queen Year and loud and proud and so incredibly sure of herself and have zero concern for how her family or friends might react. They never thought they would see the day we're not all kids had to feel shame or be closeted. Although the pandemic has been traumatic and horrible for so many people, their child their family included. They see their children having spent so much time on self reflection and learning to embrace who they are and are so happy they're surrounded by so much love and understanding both by family and their schools, and they can naturally be themselves. They did send me a little picture of their adorable little paper pride Fleg so cute and I'm so happy. Yeah, this was this was a really amazing story because it does bring up that whole generation that's growing up right now and how much easier, I guess, it is, or how small like how much less shame they feel that they need to have in embracing their identities. There's a lot more education out there right...

...now. There should still be more, but there's a lot more acceptance and kind of knowledge about these different identities right now and I am so, so happy that this individuals children were able to just come out and feel comfortable and kind of feel that the whole celebration thing and is is a little over the top, because they may not realize that the world was not as much of an accepting place even twenty years ago, as we saw in the history of Lgbtqia in Canada episode last week. So this next one here says it is important to them because they were raised by to lesbian grandparents living in a small town. They were constantly bullied for it, but they ended up teaching this person that they are the strongest people that they know. Might their grandmother was the first woman to be in a manager role in a production plant in the S, so she dealt with a lot of the toxic masculinity and the other partner is the nicest person that would need help. That would help anyone in need. So that motivated this individual to be a stronger person and to help people. But they only officially came out to her three years ago, when they have been together forty one years. This year this individual added. I don't think it's fair because I've never seen a relationship so strong before in my life. So this is kind of that opposite end of the spectrum that we were just discussing, where the kids kind of in the last story feel super fine, super comfortable with coming out and at a really early age, knowing and knowing that they're loved and going to be accepted, where this story the grandparents have been together forty one years and only came out to their grandchild three years ago. And also worth mentioning was the bit of intersectionality there where the...

...gender role and sexuality probably played a bigger part in kind of the oppression that they would have faced in really early years. So the next story I would like to share with you says so. For me, pride month is important because I grew up in a very Christian home where it was well known that their parent, my parents, weren't okay with that kind of thing. Even the even though I knew I liked girls too. As a kid it was super taboo and I always felt like that side of me was hated. I came out to my family and at first it was super difficult, but my parents have come to be fairly accepting and are much more open minded now. Pride month makes me feel like I'm not invisible, like I'm no longer persecuted for loving who I love. Pride Month reminds me that it's okay for me to be shamelessly who I am. I thought that was an absolutely beautiful addition, just that feeling of visibility, and that's why we have months like this to raise awareness, to just make the people who are forgotten and invisible feel more visible and proud, and that's that's a huge, huge, huge moment. One person I talked to you said just a quick little phrase, representation matters. Pride month is important because presentation matters, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. It's an absolutely huge statement for being only two words. I really liked the take of this next story, so I will read that Q as well. So it's pride, and pride means being comfortable in my own skin, whether or not anybody accepts me. Pride is solely for me and lives within me, and I hope that everyone who celebrates this month also has pride within them. It's so important to pride, have pride internally, though,...

...because loving yourself as such an extraordinary power, and that I absolutely love. Pride starts within. You can go to the parades and stuff, but unless you have worked to accept yourself and love yourself, it's not quite going to be the same your you can still participate in pride, absolutely, but it's just not going to be quite the same if you don't feel proud in yourself, in that internal struggle and just accepting yourself, and that's so, so, so important. So thank you for adding that, friend. Next little take that I really enjoyed. My next friend said. I would say that pride month is important to the LGBTQIA plus community, but as an individual that has been a part of it, but only have celebrated it the last six years. It's important because it shows love, love for other people, love for yourself and love for a community as a whole. It's especially important for the younger generation to know that they are perfect the way they are, and our history can prove that. With all of the wonderful movements they have we've fought to get here. They also added. This is coming from someone who identifies as a lesbian. Also, on that note, I like being gay because I literally stick it to the man that he will never be attractive enough or good enough for me to be anywhere near him as a partner and I owe him absolutely nothing. That part just made me laugh a lot, so thanks for throwing that in there. But the next person who messaged me said pride month for me means bringing awareness to a community of whom, humans who are constantly being braided by society for being different, bringing awareness to those constantly facing fear of going out because their community is subject to verbal, emotional,...

...mental and physical assault. Pride month to me means that taking opportunities to show those who identifies to us lgbtqus unconditional love and support absolutely beautiful. I love it. It does acknowledge that, although we have made a lot of progress, we aren't where we were twenty, thirty, forty years ago. There is still that oppression being faced there. They are still minorities, they are still subject to hate crimes. As I mentioned in last week's episode, a lot of that intersects with different identities to maybe I'll do an episode on intersectionality one day. Doesn't necessarily fall into my sex, love psyche categories, but it is an important topic, so we will see. Okay, yeah, I did also have one of my friends for the question back in me. Like wise, pride month important to me. Why do I think it stands for? And I really appreciated throwing it back to me. I was going to cover my my kind of view on things in this episode anyway, but I appreciate somebody else asking. What I had said was. I think prin month is important because there shines a light on so many different walks of life. It also helps to remind us of the not so distant history of just how hard people have had to fight just to just to get to the point where at and also serves as a beautiful reminder of how the generation that is currently growing up is so much more free to be who they are in express it. It's absolutely wonderful. So to me, pride is acknowledging and celebrating the history and all of the oppression and the stonewall and all of those moments that got us to being able to have those discrimination laws in fact in force...

...or you can't fire someone for being part of these communities, the legal marriage, just having the same rights according to the law as heterosexual, heterosexual and SIS gender people. It's absolutely huge. So acknowledging and celebrating those fights, also celebrating way we are currently, at how much progress we've made, what we can do now as Lgbtqia plus people, and also just helping us to look forward to what more we can do and bringing awareness and education to people who might not be a part of these communities but who support us, or maybe those who don't. If we are out there and just being regular people more often, maybe they'll slowly get chipped away out just a little bit and become that little bit more accepting. But I absolutely love that. Kids these days, I see it all the time on Tick Tock. Teenagers, pretty teens, even even younger kids are learning about these identities and and feeling like that is something that they vibe with, that they are valid in. I I absolutely love to see it. A lot of these identities may be hard for people to keep up with. The acronym does keep getting longer and longer, but I am so glad that it's just becoming more and more inclusive an experiensive, even if sometimes people get caught up in the labels and feeling like they need to label things or they need to label other people things. I am really thankful that it just keeps expanding and growing and maybe the lines between all these identities are blurring a little bit more and more, and I think...

...that would be a really beautiful thing if we aren't all in these strict, strict categories of the binary of male and female or heterosexual and homosexual. There's a lot of variation and those are more on a scale than a binary and I hope that the lines keep getting blurred, even if that's a bit of an unpopular opinion. So I've wanted to thank everyone for tuning into my pride month episodes. This month I have had a lot of fun, just fun to go back over them. We had learning the letters of the alphabet, Mafia or the acronym. The first week we had some coming out stories the history. This week is some different input on Widi fight is important and if you've listened to all of these episodes, thank you so much. I greatly, greatly, greatly appreciate it. If you have given your input on this episode or the coming out episode. I absolutely appreciate it. I couldn't have done these episodes. They would have been a lot more boring if they were only my stories. So thank you to everyone who chipped in their stories. I'm proud of all of you. I love all of you. Happy Pride. Before I kind of Scooch off this week, I did want to say in light of all these discoveries of residential schools and the graves outside of them, I just don't feel right I'm going to take some time to take off next week from doing the podcast. I might still do some recording for future episodes, but I just don't feel quite right taking up your airtime where you're...

...listening time next week, especially with Canada to day falling between today and next week's episode. I would just really encourage everybody to look up maybe some indigenous creators podcasts. I'M gonna be looking some up. I will share them to my facebook and probably instagram as well, if you have me on there, or you can look them up on your own. I think that this is a time where we just really need to open our ears and stop telling indigenous people all to feel I have tried to reach out to a few of my indigenous friends just to because I know that this is a really hard time for them. It's a tough time for a lot of Canadians who may not have been as educated on the atrocities of residential schools. I am super sad that I didn't learn enough about them until I got into university and started taking indigenous focused courses and sociology courses, race and racism courses and all that kind of stuff. I believe that the U of a has an introductory level indigenous course that that's open for anybody to take. I would really encourage everyone to look into that. Maybe I'll share a link to that on my facebook and Instagram as well. But yes, so I will not be posting an episode next week, but I will continue back to our normal kinds of conversations after that. But I would encourage everyone to just really read up on some of the these indigenous issues residential schools. Check in on your indigenous friends, see if you can be an ear for them. Just listen to them, try not to interject your own feelings of guilt or shame or anything onto them. They...

...have a lot more important things than you feeling guilty about residential schools. So chicken on them. See if there's anything you can do for them. Throw on some orange for Canada Day. I know I have I don't have a lot of orange, but I do have a little pin that I got from a farmer's market. Just go listen to indigenous people. They've been fighting to be heard for so long and finally these discoveries of graves are shaking up the world a little bit, thankfully, finally. But yeah, let's start listening to you. Are Indigenous friends. They have amazing stories. A lot of them are related to people who went through the residential school system, and all of these stories being brought up can really retraumatize a lot of people or cause a lot of like flashbacks and PTSD like symptoms, a lot of just terrible, terrible feelings. So please check in on your indigenous friends. Thank you so much for listening to this month's episodes. Happy pridemounth everybody. Thank you so much. By.

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