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Sex, Love, And Psych
Sex, Love, And Psych

Episode · 1 year ago

Episode 18: Dating Apps

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

A bit of a lighter topic this week, hear some of my experiences, some feedback some friends, dating app no nos and dating app reviews!

Hello everyone, and welcome back to sex, love and psych the new Monday schedule. I am really enjoying this move. I have still been really busy in doing catch up, so I did kind of have to rush to get this done today, but I think going forward it's going to be really helpful for me and again, hopefully it kind of better stays in your head throughout the week so that you actually get more chances to listen to it. May Be on the way home or the way to work, or just after work, making supper something, I don't know. Listen to it whatever you want, but thank you so much for being here. With the last few topics being a little on the heavier side and like a little on the darker side, I would say it, kind of like more serious issues, I felt like today deserved a bit of a lighter, funner topic, a little more conversational, a little more of my personal experience. This is going off of me and off of the polls that I posted last night on my instagram and facebook. Make sure you are following me if you want to take part in those and kind of have your input on episodes and topics. Sometimes I do a vote if I'm trying to decide between two topics. But yeah, so let's dive right in. Lighter topic. I wanted to do dating APPs, something I unfortunately have a lot, a lot, a lot of experience with. I've been off and on dating APPS for years. I've been single for just over three years now. I kind of go through phases of being like only in on all my dating APPs to just kind of letting matches expire on bumble and just going forward. I did want to start off with some of the feedback that you guys gave me all my polls, some of them really...

...funny, some of them really awesome. So let's dig into those. So for some three word summaries that I asked for, I got not worth it, hit or miss, overwhelming, useful, destructive, unwanted Dick Picks, one night stand, cheesy pick up lines. Moving on to some brief little stories that you guys gave me. First one on tender less than a week and have now been dating for four years. Another one said met the love of my life, clicked instantly, felt like I need them forever, and they're now married with two kids and could not be happier. I had to other friends message me saying Hey, I might my husban spen on tender. Another story that or opinion that I kind of got on one was there's too many options. I find the APP scene to lead to people giving up on each other really quickly. Always more swiping to do and more people to match, so you don't really have that effort of sticking with one person and kind of just jumping at the first iffy moment or first in because there's so many more people you can meet. Another friend said she had one guy who said Hitler had some good ideas on their first date and then on a also a micro dosing guy. Both sound like wonderful date adventures. One person did also add some advice in there. So they said don't meet someone until you're truly thing, feeling a deeper connection, whether it be for sex or for a date. They made sure to add that don't go to somewhere other than the place that you initially agreed upon and don't go to his house, like don't...

...meet him at his house on his first seek. These are good at these are good solid advice, but sometimes I've done a couple of these things. You got to be really careful. For sure, share your location with friends send screenshots of whatever the person looks like to your friends. These are all things is that US ladies have to do on a regular basis. I don't know about you guys, but this is our experience. With my general experience, I did want to add on and asked all you guys for your stories and your opinions. Clearly, I have not met my husband or wife or whoever partner forever on denry because I am still single, but I do have experience on tender bumble hinge and, most recently, that dating APP her. I've had a lot of good conversations. I've had a lot of bad conversations. I have a lot of screenshots that make me laugh. Sorry, pardon me, just had to clear my throat. I've had every type of conversation you can probably imagine. Yeah, it's I've had good dates, I've had bad dates. I have met a lot of my friends that I currently chat you on a regular basis through dating app so yeah, you can. You can walk away with a marriage partner, you can walk around away with a dating partner, more friends, you can walk away from the people that you meet on these dating APPs. There's so many different experiences. It's not for everybody, but hey, give it a try if you want to talk to some New People. Some profile no nos, just for those people who do you have dating apps. This is totally subjective, based on my opinion and maybe some of the opinions of my friends who I know where else on dating...

APPs. Some big no nos that West don't like. Your first four pictures, group photos, where it's hard to tell who you are. If you're going to make a bunch of group photos, makes you like edit it, put a little Arrow in there, something no one wants to play worse Wallto on your dating profile. Second I have seen an increasing number of BIOS lately that are just like I want a person or partner who is like this. You have to be like this. Don't be like this. Oh, I hate people who are like this. Wow, that's valid information. I guess your bio is supposed to be about introducing you to the people who are reading your profile. The ones that are just overcritical come off really, really bitter and really kind of rude, honestly, and that's not someone I generally want to start a conversation with. If they're going into it like just checking off a list of things and making sure you aren't. I'm not a certain way when they've told me nothing about themselves. That's kind of a big red flight me. So just a little tip for you. Like we all have things that we don't like seeing on people's profiles. We all have preferences, but to throw them into your bio in a really condescending way is probably not going to even going to get you the people that you want, because you're just coming off roll bitter and angry and just argumentive. So maybe avoid that. Just work, get into the conversation somehow. I just ask them who they are, ask them questions to get to know us. They meet those things or they don't. Just focus. Focus your bio and telling us about you. So yeah, and just some warnings, as one of my advice people...

...gave, make sure you are having a deeper connection. For me personally, if a person's bio says, Oh, I don't want to talk over Apps, let's just meet immediately, let's go for coffee, see how we feel, that's a no for me personally, not because that means you're a terrible person, but I have to talk to someone over an APP for a while before I know if I'm comfortable meeting them in person. I've to get a feeling for the person. I have to kind of gage whether it's someone I feel safe meeting pin just all of that. I did have one person, for example, who is who is like that, about a year agoish and I mentioned some like trauma, I had some bad experiences I had and he decided to like make a joke about a consent contract that he would make sure I signed before we did anything. So like this is why I need to talk to people before just meeting up with them immediately, because I need to gage if that person is going to waste my time in person or if that person is even safe for me to meet in person. It's really easy to text and just block someone. It's not as easy. Maybe it is for you guys, but it's not as easy for me personally to just leave a date midway through. I feel really guilty of more thing on boundaries, all that fun stuff, but I would rather just not waste the time of getting ready and all of that and going on a date if you're just going to be a terrible person to me or make me feel like I am in danger. So that is just a heads up for those kind of people. Nobody likes just small talking on dating APPs to random people, having the same conversation over and over again, but it is kind of necessary evil in these situations. We got to look after ourselves and try our best to keep safe in...

...these times. I am I'm super happy for my friends who message me saying that they meant their life on partner, love of their life on these dating APPs. So happy for you, even if that has not been my experience. M and for all the my listeners. Apparently that's a possibility. You can meet your future life partner dating apps. But yeah, so I had some I found a lot of weird stories, honestly, but I have had some good ones. If we talk on a regular basis, you've probably heard some of them. Well. I also did want to hop into talking about each my impression of each dating APP. If you are single or in a open relationship or whatever and you're looking at all of these dating APP options and wondering which one you should hop on and value, my opinion, I have been on tinder, bumble hinge and now her maybe a couple other ones, very briefly, but I can't recall them ASPS this moment. So my general impression of these APPs. You may have a different experience, as a lot of my friends did, but tender is gonna be the one with the most people on it. It's the number one dating APP in the APP store, I believe, with bumble being a close second tinders. She's kind of a free for all. Left SWEP for no, up for Super Leg, right Flipe for yes, you know the bit. I do find that, because it is the most popular dating APP, you have to work through a lot of those kind of Shitty people that you aren't really connecting with, or there are more people who are more looking to hook up. Not Saying that that's...

...everyone, because multiple people have different dating accounts, but you're going to see most of the people who are looking for hookups. You're going to see most of them on tender, maybe as well as other dating APPs, and that is totally fine. If that's what you're looking for, just be out front about it, put it in your bile that that's what you're looking for and don't be a Dickhead to people who that's not what they're looking for. Moving on to bumble. BUMBLE is a little bit different. Some backs around bumble that I actually saw on facebook recently. The woman who started bumble actually used to. She helped to cofound tinder but left the company after filing some sexual harassment claims against her cofounders. Just a little fun fact. So she moved over to bumble. Started bumble. It's a little bit different. It's still the left swipe, no right swipeys for super like whatever. But one unique thing about bumble is that the woman has to makes a first move. So guys cannot message first. Women have to kind of puts the power in their hands and you have twenty four hours to do so. And with that twenty four hours, if you have messaged them within the first twenty four hours, it won't to expire, but it will reset the clock for another twenty four hours for them to answer you. If you don't answer in the first twenty four hours or they don't reply in the first twenty four hours, the match will expire. You have, I think, one renewal of expiration. I did I want to say I don't really eat them now often, but yeah, so that's a little bit different bumble. There is a lot of crossover with tinder. I find a lot of people on tender also have bumble, but with the woman making the first move. I have found fewer do she...

...conversations right off the bat. I've definitely still had some. Just again, put it in your bio if that's what you're looking for. I have in my bile that that's not what I'm looking for, so just match with people based on that. But bumble I do like. Other than that, the notification system is really messed out. I don't get most of my bumbed notifications, which is really not if you're having a conversation with someone. And Yeah, sometimes I match with someone but don't feel like immediately talking to them, so that can be kind of a drawback sometimes as well. With hinge, again, less swipe, no, right swipe, yes, I believe there's a super like option. Hinge is unique in the way that in order to match with someone, you have to like and or comment on specifically something about their profile. So you can like or comment on one of their photos or one of their prompts or something like that. So you send a leg it pops up in there people who have liked you, which is another thing that's a little more unique to hinge. You don't have to pay for that. They just pop up in your people you have who have liked you. So you can see who've liked you. You can answer them back. You have to go ahead and message them back based on whatever they like done yours, or you can just send them like back and invite them to start the conversation. So it is a little, quite a bit more work to actively match with someone. I have found more of my conversations on hinge have been a little more on the boring side, which can be nice because it's not all dick picks and stuff, but I don't know, I just find it's not...

...necessarily for me all the time. I don't have that profile anymore. Her. It's anyone that I'm on and I am very confused. I don't really know much about it yet. It's for females and non binary people only. So sorry, man, you can't hop on her. Huh? That's funny, Um. But yeah, so far, so good. There's a friend request feature that I don't really understand yet, but I can get back to you on this APP in the future. So doesn't my little first impressions well lasting impressions of these APPS. But again, a lot of people have different experiences. It's what you put out there. You kind of got to work through the dumb shit sometimes to find the good ones, and I would invite you to do so. It's good to talk to people with Covid Times. If you like talking with New People and kind of don't necessarily want to immediately meet, you can kind of throw covid in as an excuse, which is nice. But yeah, hopefully you all enjoyed this. It's a little bit of a funnier topic, a lighter topic. If you have any tender stories on the my way, I think they're hilarious us most of the time. Or maybe you can give me some hope on some dating APPS, like some of my friends tab here who met their love, the love of their lives. Going forward, just be careful put out your intentions. There's no sense in saying you want something that you don't want. That's just going to cause more confusion and frustration for everyone involved. Stay safe out there, guys. I hope you've had a wonderful long weekend, that you have a super wonderful week and I will talk to you all next Monday. I let I'll sneak...

...peak it. Next Monday is may thirty one, which is the day before pride month. So we will be chatting about some different sexual and gender identities. So if that's something you want to learn more about, make sure you turn it tune in next Monday. If that's something that you are very much against, just don't listen to it or do but if you're mad about it, don't message me. I've had none of those arguments anyway. Again, thank you so much for tuning in this week. I hope it's super awesome for you. I hope this was a little bit of a lighter topic. Maybe you learn something new, who knows? Maybe give you hope, maybe give you a laugh. Have a wonderful week everybody. Thanks. Bite.

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