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Sex, Love, And Psych
Sex, Love, And Psych

Episode · 1 year ago

Episode 15: Porn and the Porn Industry

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

An exploration of the different sides and focuses of the porn industry as well as discussion of some of the dangers and benefits of porn.

Hello and welcome back to sex, love and sight. Today's episode fifteen. Sorry it's a little bit later than usual. I just had to pick up a shift at work yesterday and I also just kind of forgot about it until I realized it was too late. So just a day late, in a couple hours later than usual, but here we go. Today's topic I will be talking about is porn and the porn industry. So this is a pretty big topic. It can be kind of controversial. This is all based on my experience, my research, what I've kind of read from bloggers and all that kind of stuff, just my general experience. So to start off, I would like to say that the general idea of porn at its core isn't inherently terrible in my personal opinion. But with that being said, there are a lot of issues that come into play with how porn is viewed and made any industry surrounding it in today's society. So these issues come in when looking at how a lot of people are treated in the industry, by the industry, as well as society outside of the industry, how male centric and sometimes violence focused a lot of porn is and the absence of realistic portrayals of sex in mainstream porn as well as how, an extension of a last previous episode of how our education system has pushed so many young people into relying on porn for their sex education and forming what they think sex should look like. That played it played in with the other points that I made. Their really kind of gathered together to make the shit storm of a really terrible industry with a...

...lot of very negative repercussion. So let's look at the industry. This isn't necessarily applicable to every single person in the industry. A lot of performers and sex workers really know what they're doing. They know the industry, they have agents and people that back them up in a correct way. They are in safe environments. But that is just not realistically how a lot of people in this industry are treated and that's not the setting that a lot of these people are pushed into. There are a lot of ties between sex trafficking, intimidation, all of that and the porn industry. Again, not in every case. Some people do it out of their free will, all the power to them, but there is that large portion that we can ignore that is set sex trafficked or people who were brought into into the industry under kind of the guys of acting or modeling or whatever and just kind of pushed into the industry under those false pretenses. They there are a lot of people that are putting dangerous situations, there are a lot of unethical companies that profit off of these types of situations and a lot of what I've seen about the porn industry in general is very, very, very toxic and very dangerous and unhealthy. So one example would be pornhub. In the last year, so I didn't get look at a complete date, but I did do a quick google. They removed and flagged about ten point five million videos off of their website due to child sexual abuse, people who did not give their consent to be filmed and...

...that film to be shared included in the videos and just a lot of unverified uploaders where they couldn't verify if all of the people included were of age or consenting. So it's ten million. One article that I read listed that they went down from thirteen point five million videos to three million videos after removing all of these questionable, unverified uploads. That's incredibly problematic and scary. I don't know if you've noticed. If you use porn hub, you might have went to search a video and not be able to find it anymore. It could be one of those few reasons. So a second example, more like specific, I guess you could call it almost a case study in the porn industry, would be the case of Mea Khalifa. I watched an interview with her on with in like with a BBC interview from two thousand and nineteen. She said she was asked kind of what led her into the porn industry. She said she had very low self esteem. She lost a lot of weight around the beginning of college. She got a Boob job because that's where she lost a lot of her weight first, and then she started getting all of this male attention and that fed into her lack of self esteem and she found that she felt more validated and she needed to cling to this male validation because she was so afraid of losing it. And at the age of I think it was twenty one, that she said she was scouted did by someone just like on the street for modeling, which led to nude modeling, which eventually led her into porn. By the time she left, which was a couple years ago, I want to say it was in that two thousand and nineteen year...

...she has spoken out on it a few times. She has a tick Tock that I've viewed, but in the specific BBC interview it's she said it left her feeling shamed by society. She can't go out into public without people staring at her and feeling like the entire world and population of the world has seen her naked and she has no option to get that material removed. She just has to live her life knowing that a quick Google search and anybody around her could see her in these very personal, very vulnerable moments. He, the interviewer, did reference a specific one where she was apparently wearing a job and then eventually removed it and then the kind of porn scene started and he asked her like hey, like you had to know that that was going to be super controversial, and she stated that she told her directors that, yeah, she was worried that they were going to get her killed by doing something so provocative and so involved with this like religious and cultural piece, like the her job, and when asked why she didn't just refuse it, she said she felt just intimidated and scared in and that extended to a lot of her other work. Like she said that no one would force you to do it, because that's right and no one's doing that. But there was other ways of intimidation and just fear and her self esteem issues that fed into her feeling like she had to continue to do this stuff. Quick look at her tick tock that she has can show you just how much it's still continues to affect her. You can take a look at her comments section and they have all the shitty generally men some women, just shitting on her for being in the porn industry and doing porn and you can just tell that she's still really struggling with...

...finding herself as someone outside of the porn industry, as someone who entered it at the age of twenty one and is now, I believe, like twenty eight. She lost a lot of her young adulthood to that porn industry. So, moving on to more of the content side of the porn industry, a lot of mainstream porn, like a very large majority it of porn that you can just see on a quick google search without looking too hard, is mailed, sent male centered and or like violent bedsm focused. In my experience and by what I've seen spoken up about by other women is how incredibly like male centric porn is. If there is a man president in the scene you were watching, his pleasure is most likely the focus of at least ninety percent of the video or scene or whatever he's there for. This doesn't necessarily apply to if you get into like niche categories like femdom and that kind of stuff, but a lot of the mainstream porn you will see very, very male pleasure focused. That inherently isn't wrong. Men Can have their sex and enjoy it, but the absolute absence of women's pleasure or just it being an afterthought in porn is very, very problematic and just especially with the mixed in of our lack of sex education. But I'll get into that in a little bit. So a lot of the porn who's also like the violent and bedsm focused, which I am not making shame beds. I'm in violent, like more violent consensual play, is all well and good if that's what you're into,...

...but with POL worn it is like the fantasy. It leaves out a lot of the realistic and important aspects of these kinds of scenes in real life and this includes in really important aspects like setting boundaries, using safe words, after care, checking in with a partner to make sure everything's going well and okay they're okay consistently. That's all left out of porn. And I do get the porn as a fantasy and that maybe those things aren't to sexy and porn industries job is not to provide viewers with the full picture and education of safe practices. But when we bring in that lack of sex education in the world, basically there's very few countries with decent sex education, this can lead to a lot of really serious problems. These types of porn that ignore female pleasure and safety practices can lead to a lot of issues for young people who are turning to porn for a guide of how sex is supposed to look at a very pivotal point in their sexual development. So when it comes to young men, like young Hetero man, watching mainly Hetero porn, it shows them that their pleasure is number one, it's probably the only thing that matters and and that they should be degrading women and engaging in other types of bedeous and practices without knowing how to do it safely and respectfully. And when it comes to, let's say, primarily had to wrote young women, it teaches them that nate, they need to be submissive. There's a lot of degradation of women in porn which, again, if it's consensual and it's something you've agreed on, totally fine. But that's not the view that it takes. When young...

...women and young men who don't don't have a lot of real life experience with it, if this is the only representation, that's when it gets kind of Shitty and dangerous. So teachers young girls that they need to be submissive, care about their partner more than more than themselves, that female pleasures it's an afterthought. They're at orgasm isn't really important. They should fake it, they need to yell, they need to Moan, they need to just put on this huge show and that they need to do all of these things to be worthy of sex and having a relationship, because at that age of a lot of the sex and relationship and worthiness is all kind of tied together and entangled while they're still developing their identity and their sexual development. A lot of corn also leads to extensive fetishization of people of Color, Lgbtqia people and the whole idea of barely legal teens being a really popular and vast category. It's it can be disturbing to humanizing and dangerous for people of these categories just trying to live their lives in the real world, and this overfetishization of teens is incredibly problematic and predatory. I've spoken to multiple of my female friends, not as many of my male friends yet at this point, but this idea that a lot of men are feeding into this barely legal team is super disturbing because we don't know if the actors and participants are even actually legal, and then the ideal world they are. Maybe they're not. But also framing it that way...

...means that that age is the only thing stopping people, and like the law is the only thing stopping them, from wanting to have sex with this individual, and it's kind of painting a picture that all women need to do their best to still appear at that near post puberty age of like eighteen, and that women who are in like their s s s other than the MILF category need to either tried to look as young as possible and stick to that a teenage or like get into that malth category and just over sexualize and it's just it's just always been a very uncomfortable and predatory category to me. The general over reliance on porn in this age of the Internet where we can access it whenever we want. There's millions and millions of videos out there. You can pick any specific anything, you can pick a random, weird phrase and you can find porn on it. I think it's like the rule forty three of the Internet. If, if you can think it, there's porn of it and there's overreliance and over accessibility of porn can actually lead to a lot of issues. It can lead to like difficulty for finishing for men, like a rectile dysfunction can lead to porn addiction. Unrealistic and harmful expectations of your partner can cause a lot of disconnection in the more romantic areas of the relationship and the connection. When all you're seeing is this rough, disrespectful sex, it can really start to warp your view of your relationship with your partner and of what sex should be. With all of this being said, I'm not trying...

...to say that all porn is bad and that porn is inherently a terrible thing. You can watch porn and still have a healthy relationship with a partner. You can watch porn and have a healthy relationship with yourself. You just have to be aware of the treatment of people in the industry. Have to be aware of where your porn is coming from. Like, there are some good, positive things. It can lead to discovering of new kinks and kind of exploring things without actually having to try them out. You can kind of see someone else try them out see how makes you feel. Kind of thing provides like great fantasy material. COMPRATT provide a new venture to enjoy with a partner. A lot of people in relationships will try and spice things up by watching porn together, or that's how they will explore each other's kinks. Like Hey, you pull up like your favorite porn, your favorite Kink, and we can watch together and all do the same and you kind of get a look into the fantasies of your partner and you can kind of work some of that into your relationship. There is ethical as well as female focused porn out there. It's just a little bit harder to find. I'm sure you could. I kind of just generally skips the porn a lot of the time it's too much work. You can also step to some only fans accounts. Generally the people running them are doing it of their own free will. They're doing it to pay their bills. You can support them that way. You know it's being done ethically, you know you can have more one on one kind of relationship with them sometimes, depending on the person, and you can just know that you're supporting a real life person and not be general industry. Again, not everyone has to subscribe to you. Only fans and cam work and all that stuff, but it is something to think about if that's something more interested...

...in. So that was all I wanted to discuss about today. I would love to have more discussions with you guys about porn and kind of how you view it, your experience of it. So just hit me up. You know my contact information. If you don't, you can send me a voice mess memo on anchor. I am super open to conversation and all that fun stuff. Just know you're most likely not going to change my mind on a lot of my views, but I am willing to discuss it. So, with all of that being said, thank you so much for tuning in. Have a great rest of your weekend and I will talk to you next week by.

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